Quality Nonsense: Live Your Strengths

I told myself this year I wouldn’t garden.

Then I bought seed packets. Several.

And, asked for more seed packets for Easter.

Then I told myself I would garden this year, but, I would do it half-ass. I’d do it when I feel like it. The seeds might make it or might not. It would be my fun thing.

Originally, I thought this post would be about giving ourselves permission to do some things half-ass. That it’s okay to have goals and not go all the way with them.

Here’s what you may not know about me. I’m not a great gardener. I kill most indoor plants. Perrenials are my best friend outdoors because I don’t have to attend to them. I can walk by, ask how their day is going, and keep walking. We have a mutual respect for one another.

With every other plant going into the ground, I water and pray for the best. My hope is that between who they are and the good green earth (also known as Kentucky clay), something good will happen. Because, I’m not good for much else after that.

Mother’s Day changed the direction of this post.

I was out in the garden, moving mulch, planting sunflowers, and hanging with the family. I altered our yard, ever so slightly, and after I came inside, sun-burnt with dirt etched under my fingernails, I realized why I garden.

I don’t garden because I’m good at it.

I garden because I love it.

It centers me, helps me connect my soul to the earth, and strengthens my body.

Yeah, it wears me out, but afterward, I always feel like I did something.

And, that’s a good feeling.

Somewhere along the way, we were told that we should only do what we are good at. And, if we aren’t good at something, people openly tell us, “Stick to what you’re good at”. How many of us have dropped hobbies, or things we enjoyed learning because we weren’t “good” at it? And, how many times have we cut ourselves off from the feelings of connectedness, wholeness, strength, and insight because apparently, “it wasn’t in our wheelhouse”? We give it up and we’re sad. But, that’s what we’re supposed to do, right? Isn’t this what good adulting is?

Years ago, Marcus Buckingham changed my life with his book “Find Your Strongest Life”. Here’s what he said that was so powerful:

Weaknessnes, in turn, according to Marcus, are things that you may be good at, but you dread doing, and while you’re doing it, you feel awful. Afterward, you are drained and need to recover.

This makes sense to me. I’m good at reconciling our budget. And, I hate it. I have to layer on listening to good music while I’m doing it to make it through. I’ll do it but it’s not something I look forward to. It’s a weakness.

Gardening, I’m not so good at. And, I love it. I can be outside for hours. I love handling soil bare-handed. The sun, the wind, pushing a wheelbarrel around, it makes me feel alive. I look forward to it every time. It’s my strength.

What is adulting really? We are given the opportunity to live our lives in ways that make sense to us. We have that freedom now. And, to everyone that tells us to stick to what we are good at? Well, like we’d say in middle school, they aren’t the boss of us. Let’s go have some fun.

So, learn the things. Play guitar, sing the songs, build the pipeline, make the sculpture, create the music, work that spreadsheet. We don’t have to be good at it.

We can do it because we love it.

And, only for that reason.

Till next time…

Written with Deep Calm and Focus 🌱 Ambient Instrumental Music by Roary playing in the background